hannah help me! By Hannah Keeley

Room for One More Bed-Sharing Allows Bonds to Develop Naturally

Q. What do I do with my three-year-old boy who comes in my room to sleep with us every night? Should I keep putting him back to bed or should I give in and let him sleep on the floor next to us or with us? I’ve been putting him back in his own bed multiple times a night for about three months now and I’m exhausted. Hannah, help me!

A. Since I woke up this morning with three kids in my bed and my husband clinging for dear life on the edge of the mattress, you probably already know the stance I take on the whole bed-sharing issue.
When we are new mommies, we often find ourselves in a bubble, seeking advice from the “experts” and not listening to our own inner voice. When you consider that the vast majority of cultures in our world practice bed-sharing with their children, you suddenly realize that perspective is everything and the only real truth is the one that lies within you.
Sleeping is a vital time for a child’s development, not only physically but emotionally as well. Instead of being “down time,” it is a very active period, when the subconscious mind processes information.
You are your son’s source of comfort and consolation, and evidently he needs you during his sleep to resolve the emotional issues of attachment. Allowing your child to sleep with you is not “giving in,” it is allowing the natural development of the precious bond between parent and child.
On a side note, my three-year-old daughter was in my bed the other night, wide awake, when I came into my bedroom. When she saw me getting ready for bed, she jumped up and down and said, “Yay! Mommy’s going to bed!” I looked at her and said, “Klara, you are so silly!” She sat down and replied, “I’m not silly Mommy, you’re just my best friend.”
This time is so beautiful, and so brief. Trust yourself to do what is right.

Q. We will be moving in a month. My husband and I will be driving there in separate cars, which means that I will be driving with my 16-month-old daughter in tow. Do you have any great tips for a LONG car trip with a very active toddler?

A. The last time we moved, I was also the lucky one driving the toddler (plus a two-year-old and a geriatric Dalmatian with a slight case of incontinence).
One thing you need to have on hand is a “bag of tricks.” Pack some new toys that your child has not seen before, and pull them out at regular intervals, such as every 30 minutes. There’s no need to spend a fortune. Just make a trip to the dollar store and stock up.
Remember to pack some healthy snacks for the trip, such as raisins, crackers and fresh fruit. The last thing you need for the journey is a restrained toddler on a sugar trip.
Also, bring some music or books on CD that your child enjoys. (Cracker Barrel is a great place to stop on trips because they carry books on CD that you can rent for up to a week.)
One last tip is to stop frequently. Unless they are slumbering, children have a hard time sitting still in a car seat for long trips. Try to plot out your breaks at rest areas where there is plenty of room for playing. Pack your meals in a cooler and bring along some balls or Frisbees. You can enjoy a healthy picnic while your toddler gets a chance to stretch his legs and run around. Have a safe and enjoyable trip!

Hannah Keeley is an author, television personality and founder of the website, TotalMom.com. She lives with her husband and seven children in Chesterfield County.

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