hannah help me! By Hannah Keeley

Single Mom Creates Her “New Normal”  

Q. I am a mother of three and my husband left us two years ago. Ever since then, it seems like nothing is in its place and the house doesn’t have that fresh smell. I just feel so disorganized in my life now and don’t know what to do or how to start. Hannah, help me!

A. Bless your heart, Mama. I wish I were there to give you a big hug and a strong cup of coffee. But this is a battle that you must face—face it, and win it.
It seems to me that you are still in a holding pattern, kind of like an airplane circling aimlessly while you wait on the signal to take some direction. When your husband left, it probably shook your world and most likely, you are still feeling the shockwaves. But eventually, you need to come to the point where you look around and realize that nothing will change until you make the decision to change it.
Things have become stagnant around the house while you wait for some external force to make everything right again. Here’s the kicker—you are that force and you already possess everything you need to create the home and the life that you desire.
Life will never return to normal. You need to decide on your new normal, and this may be drastically different from the reality that you first experienced when your husband was in the picture. It will be new and challenging, but can be extremely fulfilling as well.
Keep in mind that it took two years for you to get in this situation and it will not improve overnight.
Nothing is in its place? Then give your home a facelift, swipe on some fresh paint and do some reorganizing. No fresh smell? Then clear out the clutter that is causing the congestion. Divide up your home into small zones and try to tackle one every week. Get rid of the junk that you may be holding on to (physical and emotional), and open up the space in your home and in your life for wonderful things to happen.

Q.  I had my first baby at 19, and now I have four children in five years. We have a fairly large family, and I am out of space! All six of us live in 900 square feet. How do I fit all of us—and our stuff—in our home and still have it look neat? Hannah, help me!

A.  It’s not how much space you’ve got, it’s what you do with it that really matters. When we moved into an 1100-square-foot home after living in a teeny little apartment, I felt like I was living the high life (and yes, there were six of us at the time). It’s all a matter of perception. However, there are some tricks and techniques to help you free up a little breathing room in your current situation.
First of all, get rid of the junk. My rule has always been that if it’s in my home, it’s got to earn its keep. Set the standard pretty high. If nobody uses it, pack it up or give it away. If it is just taking up space and not being used efficiently, out it goes.
When you start getting rid of the baggage, you will find that we actually need very little in life. Most stuff is just that—stuff. So clear it out and increase the usable space in your home.
Second of all, think efficiency first when it comes to organizing your home. Go vertical if you can. Bunk beds are always a good idea for a large family and wall-mounted cabinets don’t have to be limited to the kitchen. A little creativity can take you far.
Third and last, be grateful. I have always considered a small home a blessing because it pulls my family together. We hear and see one another and are deeply rooted in one another’s lives. I believe that the close proximity has a lot to do with that. And as an added benefit—there’s less to clean!

Hannah Keeley is an author, television personality and founder of the website, TotalMom.com. She lives with her husband and seven children in Chesterfield County.

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